THEY CALL ME BRAIN
July 13, 2009 by brianyang
The following was a story that originally ran on DreamLeague.org.
You know, I’d like to say that China is the new frontier. That it’s the place to be and has nothing but upside written all over it.
After all, recently even Kobe Bryant announced that he is going to focus much of his charitable endeavors on this country. He’s coming out this way this summer, spending time in several mainland cities and also Taiwan and Hong Kong, which depending on which side of the fence you sit, may be considered China as well. (I just heard the 10 Taiwanese people who read this collectively groan and throw a bunch of thousand year old eggs at the screen.)
There’s no doubt. China is a new frontier. It does have upside written all over it. It’s as exciting as Dwight Howard at the slam dunk contest. And, honestly, even if Yao Ming’s foot injury does in fact force him to call it a career (which I honestly don’t think will happen), our sport of basketball is not going to slow its growth in this country.
David Stern is having 12 NBA caliber arenas built around the nation. Here in Shanghai, where I am at the moment, NBA stores and paraphernalia litter the streets. Smush Parker is here playing in the CBA (no, not that old Isiah Thomas led outfit that went bankrupt years ago, but the Chinese Basketball Association.) The NBA has been holding the China Games for years here now and this October will have Arif Ansari’s beloved Indiana Pacers (the only Pacer fan in New Jersey) face off against the Denver Nuggets in Taipei (but wait, that’s not China.) Finally, the stat of all stats that makes you think you gotta be in China to be relevant: over 380 million people play this game recreationally.
380.
Million.
That’s the size of the US of A, folks.
It’s no wonder the NBA, Fortune 500 companies, Hollywood studios, small to mid-sized Western firms, and everyone with a product wants to come out here to sell it. With an audience of 1.5 billion people, what’s not to love?
How about using my name properly to start?
(Not being able to freely surf sites like Youtube and Facebook sucks too, by the way, but there are ways around that.)
My biggest pet peeve – and I’m a pretty chill person – is when people spell my name Brain.
I’ve gotten Bryan, Bran, and even once got Brayan at a Starbuck’s, but it seems everyone and their mom here in China refers to me as Brain. Fudge, this is no joke, recently, my mom DID address me as Brain in an email.
Often, I get an email from someone that’s addressed as:
Dear Brain, or Hi Brain, or just plain ole Brain.
It must happen on average, 2-3 times a day in emails or texts I get from local folks around the way.
Then last week, my mom writes me:
Hi Brain,
When I spoke to you couple days ago you sounded that you will fly back real soon. Will you be in Shanghai when I arrive on July 20th? I need a place to stay.
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!
If I can’t catch a break from dear ole’ mom, I got no shot. The woman named me after all. It makes me think, maybe my name was meant to be brain after all. Maybe I’ve had it wrong since the start?
On the worst day, I had 11 people refer to me as Brain in messages made out to me either by email, text, or one package delivered by a courier. On the best days, it only happens once.
I’m thinking about getting a t-shirt made that reads: MY NAME IS NOT BRAIN. Maybe have it say the same thing in Chinese on the back.
Thing is, I don’t think these folks here even know that they’re making a mistake. Brain is the same as Brian to them. What’s the difference? I guess there are worse things to be called than calling me a smart person. After all, my Garbage Pail Kid was Brainy Brian. (Did I just date myself?)
But, when the other day, after I played in my first game here in a league called ASAS – Colin Pine, Yao’s translator when he first came over to the US, is on our team – I saw this aftermath on the website and I went berserk, I knew this new frontier still had a lot of work to do.
Yea, China, you got a tons of potential. You have money, eyeballs, resources that no one in this world can touch.
But until you can make Brian from Brain, you’re never going to get anywhere.
I mean, gosh, if the NBA one day sends a delegation of Brian Grant, Brian Skinner, Brian Shaw, Brian Cardinal, and Brian Scalabrine over to play your national starting 5, it could be disasterous.
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